Thank You! Thank You! For taking the time to love me and care for me! You guard my heart and remind me when my vessel is weak or I have a chink in my armor before going into battle. Lord, I am so grateful for every moment You spend with me. I never know each day what You might have for me. Your instruction is what I long for. Your confirmation of Your happiness with me is always what I strive for. I know there is nothing I can do on my own strength to capture Your heart. The only thing I know to do is to keep a right heart in me. Sometimes it means brokenness, sometimes repentance, sometimes grief, but I always know that this is the very “clay” that You, the Potter, request.
So Father, I dedicate my day to You fully! My love, my devotionals, my worship, my children, myself and my daily chores! I will choose to live in this moment and be present with You today! I love you!
Erin, Come up here!
I see Jesus near the tree. I run to Him! I’m excited today to see more of Heaven. I’m about 25 years old. He reaches His arms out to receive me. He gives me the longest hug.
Me: “I’m so glad to be here right now in this moment!”
Jesus: “I’m glad you’ve come to see Me! Erin, you just said something, do you know what that is?”
Me: “About being glad to be here?”
Jesus: “No, about being here in this moment, tell me more about this.”
Me: “It was nothing; let’s start the tour of Heaven!”
Jesus: “No, sit first!” (I sat down at the base of the tree. I was a bit disappointed in myself. I said something that caused another lesson – I looked up and He was grabbing fruit – oh no, I thought – I need to repent of something.)
Jesus: “Wow, listen to those thoughts in your head! Yes, you are correct – I might need to have you repent. Let’s talk about this. For one moment there you were disappointed because things weren’t happening the way you expected, correct? You are excited about Heaven, this is good but more importantly, who is steering the boat here?”
Me: “Lord, forgive me. I want so badly to see more; I am like a little child. If you had me come up as a child today, I’m sure I would be more compliant, Right?”
Jesus: “Yes, this is correct, but I had you come up at this age for a reason. See, a child lives in the moment, directly in a moment. The older a child becomes the more anxious, fretting about yesterday, about tomorrow. Now as an adult, all you worry about is tomorrow as the past is the driving force shaping you! Do you understand?”
Me: “Yes, Lord. But can I say, when I was 8 and even younger I always worried. I’m not sure if I remember living in the moment.”
Jesus: “Yes, you were thrust into adult situations and had no understanding of child-like wonder and peace. I’m sorry for this, Erin. There are many just like you all over the world who had to set childhood aside and wrestle life as adults would. The difference is, a child is helpless, and there is no control.”
Me: “Lord, when I come to You here, I am full of wonder. I am excited like a child and I can barely contain my joy over You and Heaven. Forgive me.”
Jesus: “Yes of course!” (He was laughing, He sat next to me, handed me a piece of fruit and He took a bite of His.)
Me: “I have spent my whole life in shock over yesterday, fearing today, and dreading tomorrow. You have taught me that the events in my life have brought me to this moment and there are some days that I wish I had blocks of time back as a re-do, like my 30s or 40s, but I know I can never go back. If it weren’t for my childhood or my teens and 20s, I would never be here with you now. So I will not trade it!”
Jesus: “Well, this is commendable. But this is not how you feel. I don’t believe you!”
Me: “What? (I paused for a moment to understand His rebuke. I was trying to understand what I said that would make me false.)
Jesus: “Erin, you want to say something to Me and you’re holding this against Me. You are offended, come clean!” (His face was calm and loving. Here I was talking to someone: Jesus who knows me better than I know myself. I had better come clean or I won’t be seeing Heaven today, or should I say, more of Heaven.) “Erin, there is no sense of time here. I have all earthly day and more. We will just sit here!” He was laughing and very certain. I was chuckling and shaking my head. I paused and thought quietly.
Me: “Lord, if I say this to You, You won’t call in fire and burn me up or split the ground and send me to the pit, right?”
Jesus: “Erin, if that were My plan, why would I even waste time discussing this, if you were destined for this? Seriously? (I am seeing Him treating me as my best friend would, that’s what He’s doing. This is amazing really.) “Erin, I can hear your thoughts. “ (He was laughing; I began to laugh so hard. I had taken a bite of fruit and it began to squirt out, this made Him laugh too.)
Me: “Lord, this is how I feel. I covet the lives of other Christians. Especially when I see married couples that love each other. I know things aren’t always perfect, but I wanted to have this here. I believe You could’ve put me in a better home. You could’ve given me a good childhood where I could dream at night in safety, and wake up each day in wonder. You could’ve given me loving Christian parents. Like I wanted a father, I wanted a Dad! Not a half Dad but a real Dad! You could have raised me to make normal mistakes and in high school and college. You could’ve prospered all of my hard work. Lord, I worked hard my whole life! I put my all into everything I did. I could’ve always been like this, too. I always searched for You. You could’ve granted me the love of a good Christian husband in school and we could have had a normal and “whole” life together. At times, I know things would’ve been difficult, but You would be there in this. Then You could’ve still honored me with Your presence. You could’ve still spoken to me like this. I could still have joy and happiness. Couldn’t I have still found You here? Was all of this necessary? Am I that bad, that bad that I needed all of this punishment? Lord, I’m alone here. I know you have not released me for marriage here now. I know this and I’m at peace with this, but it still is difficult. It’s hard to live in the moment here. I worry more than most. I make mistakes yesterday that directly affect me now and have future ramifications. I have no one to lift this burden or help me carry it. I have no encourager. So today Lord, forgive me, I think to myself why? You could turn water into wine, You even walk on this yet You couldn’t have made me have things a bit easier?” (I just sounded off on Jesus, I don’t think I had ever done this before and now I can’t take it back, I began to cry.)
Jesus: “Erin, finally the last wall just came down, stand up!” I was shaking. I sat the fruit down and stood up. He reached over and held me! “You don’t understand everything right now and you won’t until you come Home. Do you know I have been with you your whole life? Do you know that all of this was part of a greater Divine Plan? I know this has been difficult and I understand what the enemy has robbed you of. I understand the pain. I understand your isolation but do you know what? I gave you dreams. I revealed Myself to you. As you have allowed, I have blessed you. I haven’t allowed you to fall. I know the plans for you in advance. Today you stand here in communion with Me. We are in Heaven. You are present in this moment yet, not physically here. Can you trust Me to tell you or can you open your ears long enough to have knowledge of what I am to say? Can you receive this?”
Erin: “Yes Lord.”
Jesus: “The footprint of your life just as it is today matters. The pain, the disappointments, the trials, the triumphs and your race has a purpose. This was uniquely sewn together for a divine purpose. You won’t understand fully of your impact until you come Home. You are used to believing the bad things you hear, the memories of past pain and you have every reason to believe that tomorrow will be filled with more of the same trouble. You have conditioned yourself for difficulty. Erin, did it ever occur to you that knowledge of pain and your ability to understand how people process this will be of great value or serve a great purpose in the times to come? Would a sinner listen to a pure saint and have understanding? Or as a witness isn’t it more of a miracle to see someone who once had no legs to now stand and walk? People have seen your change, some will run but they will see this miracle. A sinner needs to hear from someone who ran the same race and was able to finish strong. Understand? I know that your life could’ve been made easier and there are many like you who would like to ask Me why, too! So should the clay be asking the Potter why?” (He began to laugh.) “I’m not making light of you but letting you know that all will be clear some day. All questions will be answered. All will be restored!”
“You will be made complete here. Do you know that I have such amazing things for you here? You have seen only a fraction of what awaits you. When you discover this, you will be in awe and in praise and worship! Others who have seen some of these mysteries are excited about coming Home too. Some reside here now and constantly praise God! So please take heart, take courage, and continue on your path. You are so close to finishing.”
Erin: “Thank you Lord, for not burning me up.”
Jesus: “How can I call you friend if I cannot be here as your friend? Will you allow me to be your friend?”
Erin: “Yes Lord, it isn’t easy because I see you also as God. You have been my Father, you have also been my Husband when it comes to finances and my children.”
Jesus: “A husband is also to be a friend to his bride and a leader to his household. This is by God’s design! Everything on Earth is a parable or pattern by Heavenly example! All good things originated here. The fall of men began in the Garden, but the original plan from the Garden – before the fall – is by Heavenly example, and is what you see here. This is a good land. Is it not?” (He turned and I looked over this incredible landscape of Heaven and I was so ready to step in and enjoy this Promised Land.)
Me: “Lord, You have prepared an amazing place here and I can hardly wait!”
Jesus: “Erin, this is just the beginning. Come with Me!” (He took my hand as I trailed slightly behind Him.) He walked me down past the beautiful vineyards on our right, to a viewing point over a cliff looking out across the beautiful Valley of Blessings: Beracah. I literally lost my breath. Over in the distance and off to the Northeast was the amazing Golden City.
Me: “Lord, are You taking me there today?”
(Note: these dreams are continued each day. On July 7th Erin has this prayer)
Thank You. Thank You for another day! You are the air I breathe and Creator of all of me! I pray that I can honor You in all that I do!
Jesus: “This is for another day, but you have already seen some of the City. Today I’m going to show you some of the Promised Land. Now, look over there.”
I looked down and over to a spot in the River with waterfalls. “Come!” He squeezed my right hand slightly and we were immediately there. In front of me was a beautiful area, a pool of water being fed by waterfalls. The River of Life was feeding it. It reminded me of when the Bible speaks of refreshing pools. In nature on Earth, even when seeing a sight like this, there is always a flaw or a hidden danger of some sort, but Here – perfection. It wasn’t necessarily tropical, but the water was clear crystal of blue and green. Again, like Canadian glaciated water, but not as cold.
The sounds of the water and the surrounding plants and flowers make music. It is like praise and worship. The rocks around the pool were amazing cut, colorful stone which is naturally polished with a beautiful patina. It’s literally like polished cuts of marble and granite in beautiful colors that make up the area surrounding the pools. Unlike many descriptions I have read of Heaven, I could finally understand this; others depict Heaven as consisting of cut brilliant precious gemstones everywhere, so I always imagined something I couldn’t understand. This, however, I could relate to. Beautiful marble and granite come out of quarries here on Earth and most of these Earthly treasures are hidden deep below the surface. Something we cannot see. Yet in Heaven, things that God concealed deep in mines and quarries on Earth, here in Heaven these are exposed. One of my favorite slabs of stone is Azul Aran. It is white with large crystals of blue and bronze. Another is one that I’ve used before; it is also a deep gray bronze with hidden rainbow bursts of multifaceted crystals. As you walk by this one, the rainbows appear and disappear so the stone seem to actually be alive. Yes I know, hard to understand. Well, now here I am. I stand at this pool and the rocks are incredible! My jaw was open. I must have been quiet for 10 earth minutes; tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was squeezing Jesus’ hand.
Jesus: “Erin, do you like this?”
Me: “Lord, it is breathtaking! I could be here all day! I want my friends to see this.” He was smiling and laughing.
Jesus: “Erin, they will very soon and this is just a small portion.”
Me: “God is the most amazing Creator! There is nothing, nothing that can stand close to Him!” Tears were still streaming down my cheeks. “Lord, if people on Earth even just saw this place, even the people of Islam, they would turn, see You and believe! Why not just show them?”
Jesus: “Erin, do you not think that God has called those who are His from the beginning? Look at what you came through. Look at where your heart was. You were not looking for Me or Heaven. Yet, it took years, trials and for you, long suffering to bring you here in this moment so you can share in this place. Most don’t visit here unless pain or trials come. Do you understand this?”
Me: “Some people have come just as You have willed it, without death or pain.”
Jesus: “Yes, this too has occurred but, if I were to bring those who hate Me, to show them this, they will only follow their own version of Me in earthly terms, believing they were on the right track to begin with.”
Me: “You have appeared to these villages and whole villages have converted because of You, Lord!”
Jesus: “Yes, but if I had brought them immediately here, with no communion or relationship with Me, more than likely the enemy would change this to his benefit.”
Me: “Lord, can’t it be more simple? You convert in an instant. Can’t You do this with them and show them this?”
Jesus: “Erin, it took years to get you here!”
Me: “Why didn’t You instantly change me?”
Jesus: “You were changed. When you gave your heart to Me I immediately removed the very thing you desired with your whole heart to turn from and follow me. Then your name was written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and here!” He then shows me the palm of His hand microscopically. I saw my name illuminated. It was incredible.
Me: “I do remember this. I had a repulsion for all New Age things. My stomach would get sick if it was around me! I still had an unhealthy material issue and some other things.”
Jesus: “Yes, but you still clung to these and didn’t want to release them yet. This is why the long trials. Your heart was not fully Mine, do you understand?”
Me: “I think so. We can be healed or instantly transformed by the renewing of our minds when we no longer cling to things of this world.”
Jesus: “This is good. You now have more wisdom; you just quoted some of the Word.” He smiled. “When you became saved, your mind and part of your heart became saved but, not all of it. It is unusual for someone to surrender all to Me. If this occurs, then of course everything changes instantly. I have a sense you needed to hear this.”
Me: “I always wondered about this. Why my flesh continues to do things that are contrary to what the Holy Spirit speaks in my heart. Is my constant battle in life because I am unable to fully surrendering my heart to you?”
Jesus: “Yes Erin. Your mouth has surrendered fully and most of your heart, but there is your will and it is a wheel to your body. You and others expect supernatural miracles and transformations, yet the element of surrender is not yet there. When have you considered yourself closest to Me? Remember, it is during your pain and suffering, when you are left with no options of free will. You can still choose to go your own way but, at this point you come fully to me. This is how the miracle began of close communion with me.”
Me: “Lord, some people consider this crazy; my dreams, my communion with You, and my new love for all things You! I cannot speak for all people but, I do know that when the enemy has had a run at me physically, mentally, financially and through family and work that I certainly drop to my knees. You don’t always come the way I expect but You always come! You are faithful. This time with You, I would never trade! I’m sorry that I never surrendered all to You!”
Jesus: He smiled and squeezed my hand. “It is a very human condition. This is why I search hearts, not mouths, tongues, bodies, or minds. In order for a vessel to be filled it must be emptied; all must be surrendered for miracles to begin. Now this is how you can also spot a counterfeit. I can grant the miraculous in anything but there is a certain thing that I look for that must be present. Do you know what this is?”
Me: “Well, since I don’t have all of these gifts all of the time, I have no clue. Is it to be without sin?”
Jesus: “Who is without sin? What human could have miracles then? Erin, it is the ability to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength, then it is to love your brother as yourself. False prophets, false messiahs, false witnesses have something in common, a hidden agenda that glorifies themselves or another god contrary to truth. When they begin to use “I” in reference to their demonic abilities.”
Me: “Lord, I talk about myself a lot. I’m guilty of this.”
Jesus: “The dreams are not being created by you or your own abilities. You are not making self-declarations. Just relating personal stories is not what I’m referring to. The enemy is not patient and drawn out; red flags are raised immediately via the Holy Spirit. A counterfeit says what you want to hear and tickles the ears so much, so that when or if the truth is mentioned it is subtle and notably a diversion. At first you note it, then by popularity set it aside. Then the discrepancies glare but pride keeps men from admitting error until an outside source is sent to expose the obvious. This divides churches, and destroys ministries. It is the same as finding out about an affair in a marriage. Same betrayal, same diversion, same pain! Then because of the fallout, people move away from God altogether and blame God.”
Me: “So there are signs with counterfeits?”
Jesus: “There are always warnings, safety measures and exits open. The Holy Spirit and the Heaven’s Armies will not leave you unaware and clueless; this is certainly not the ways of God at all! It is the same illustration for your own children. As a parent you set-up a safe household. When something enters that is unsafe, you give warnings of discernment or have it removed with a gentle rebuke; children learn discernment here to navigate when you are not present. The difference is with you and other children of God is the Gift of Counsel via the Holy Spirit. You have a best friend, parent, and husband inside you, guiding you!” He smiled.
Me: “Lord, thank you for this.”
Jesus: “One last thing on this matter. Someone void of the Holy Spirit uses I, me, myself beyond normal. Humility removes self. A humble heart references Jesus and removes “I’s”. When you become a new Creation, you run after what is good; things of the Holy Spirit; things that honor the Lord. You reference your past errors to testify of God’s grace but always knowing it is by God’s grace that you are here to begin with. You have done nothing on your own, understand? False witnesses speak of themselves 80% of the time and reference God 2% because the other 18% is convincing the crowd why they should believe them.”
Me: “Lord, I could’ve used this a long time ago.” (this lesson)
Jesus: “Erin, you have this ability to discern. The Holy Spirit is a gift; a life line, a cell phone with unlimited minutes directly to Me anytime. I never left any of you alone without reserves, for some will need to hear more clearly soon. False will become more common before My return to confuse.”
Me: “This is already happening.”
Jesus: “Yes, but this is nothing, Erin. Remove technology of the world and people will need to hear for the very first time. They will need to know the Holy Spirit, and discern about counterfeits, wolves. Now, let’s get back to why I have brought you here. Please focus on lovely things. Your goal is here, there will be difficult times but you have not been abandoned to the grave and I would not do this. You can leave me but even I will call you back, right?”
Me: “Yes.” (laughing) “Even to the point of pain and knee bending!”
Jesus: “Yes, let’s not let things get this far along! Stay with Me and I am with you always!”
Me: ”I am, and Lord I did say “I”, the most blessed woman ever!”
Jesus: “Now, let me show you something. Come!” (He takes my hand and brings me to a small sandy area like a little beach next to this small lake or pool. The beach had sand like white sugar, I wanted to put my bare feet in it.) “Erin, go ahead!”
Me: “I always forget You can read my thoughts.” I took off these sandals and put my feet into this sand – like snow in color! I ran it through my fingers. I was looking at the most amazing slice of paradise. It was somewhat tropical looking in the middle of rich farmland with vineyards!
Me: “Lord, this is so beautiful! I’ve never been anywhere like this. I will be here all the time won’t I?” (He was laughing and happy.)
Jesus; “Yes, you will enjoy it here.” (I had tears in my eyes!)
Me: “Lord, this here is more beautiful than any place on Earth. I don’t see strange concepts, just beauty amplified! I can understand this place and know it is Heaven. Can I see more?”
Jesus: (laughing) “What did you think things would look like?”
Me: “Well, from all that I see here, it is very similar to Earth but the very things that are rare and beautiful there are abundant here. Like this; (I point to one of the cliffs near a waterfall.) “I recognize this as a stone that is way below the surface level on Earth, yet here it is jetting out and polished. It’s beautiful. Another thing, pearls. Pearls on Earth are rare, a large pearl impossible to find yet the very Gates that I have entered through before are made of a very large one. There is more “brown” on Earth. Here everything is so lush. There is more green than brown. I see very little brown. I hear people discuss things here who claim to have been here and there are so very strange concepts that don’t sound normal. It sounds scary to me and like an alien planet. It doesn’t seem like You!” He was laughing.
Jesus: “Erin, there are things that you have seen that are difficult for some to understand. This is why many who have come have been instructed to remain silent. This is good.”
Me: “When You come for us though, all will be so happy! Everything will make sense! I love You, Lord for making such a wonderful Home for us! (I was so excited for my friends to discover all of this!)
Jesus: “There are many things that I have not shown you, which are not easy to understand as a visitor because there are no words!” He points immediately to some colors that are not on the spectrum of Earth. I also saw a color like a metallic yet not an alloy, a color. I can’t describe it. The grass, as I look down sometimes has the appearance like fur, it is fine. It’s soft like fur and shimmers. Yet, it is alive and responds to touch. He pointed for me to put my legs in the pool. The water was the perfect temperature!
(End of Part 1)
This is the part of the first chapter of the Book – The Sparrow’s Dreams – Heaven I series